What the heck is love? Oh February, how you paint this perfect picture of love around Valentines day. When I ponder the nature of love it is overwhelming to think this one word could describe so many different feelings. It seems to me we have familial love, romantic love, love for our careers and creations, love for our children, love for nature, unconditional love (perhaps the hardest one of all), and last but not least - the one many of us were never taught - self-love. I believe this kind goes hand-and-hand with unconditional love.
As a child I remember saying “I love you” to my parents and family members, and even my friends. I am unsure if I really knew what it meant. I suppose this word was something I was taught to say to the people I cared about. Which stands to question the nature over nurture theory. Was I taught to say this word to make other people feel cared about? Perhaps as a parent you can’t teach someone to love from the brain, when it is supposed to come from the heart.
Next, we have romantic love (your family can’t teach you about this one). Oh boy, this one is like playing with fire. It happens to you, not with you, and doesn’t ask you for permission. I would describe my first romantic love experience as awkward, and as a human initiation of sorts.
Through experience, I believe we start to learn that love is multi-dimensional. As a young adult I started to understand that I loved being outdoors, creating, singing, and dancing.
I am not a mother to little humans, but I believe for many this is the first understanding of unconditional love. I have heard this described as having your heart literally walking around outside of your body.
For me, I now understand my parents taught me unconditional love. They were so encouraging about every crazy thing I was into... all my pros and cons... and they never questioned my spiritual life path. Then in my early 20’s I learned how to love unconditionally when I started to take care of myself and my body. I realized one day that I am just as important to me as everyone else. This healing was a battle for sure… to undo the conditioning of taking care of others before taking care of myself. This self-care practice I believe set me up for unconditionally loving someone else, my divine counterpart Jake... the most caring, wonderful, magickal human. The night I met him everything around us melted away, and I felt as if I came home for the first time in my life. We have been best friends and lovers ever since.
The other side of love I believe is grief, not hate. This sadness, I feel people tip toe around. Grief is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I wonder how many people are walking around with this heaviness. During my Saturn return I lost my brother, my grandmother, and my dad. As I process this part of love, a quote seems to present itself in my times of need by Alford Lord Tennyson, “Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all.” Something that also seems to help my process is understanding I have felt grief before, for example every time I broke up with a partner or friend, or lost a pet or even a job I really felt passionate about. So, I invite you to talk about grief more, get it out because I guarantee people are feeling the same way. This February I hope that you can turn your love inward and hold space for you to love your body, grief, sadness, joy, beauty, silliness, awkwardness...all of it. Love is multidimensional, just like you. Cheers to loving yourself unconditionally. Happy Love Month!
This month I am launching a new tea blend for the multidimensional heart. The tea will be a blend of lemon balm, rose, lavender, hawthorn leaf, and rose hips. We also have some great classes in February we would love to see you at.
Here is a list of some of my favorite herbal and crystal heart healers and openers.
Herbal Allies Crystal Allies
linden leaf rose quartz
yarrow flower malachite